This morning, I am writing to you all from my murderous laptop, which betrayed me yesterday. Let me start from the beginning. Yesterday morning, I woke up, made some coffee and eggs, and prepared to embark on a journey around my neighborhood here in Capitol Hill. And I did just that, for awhile.
But then, I decided to go to a favorite coffee shop of mine, Roy Street Coffee &Tea, which is where this cheerful morning took a turn for the dark side. And it happened quickly. I ordered an iced green tea, “for here,” without knowing I wouldn’t be staying, and I took my refreshing bev out to the front patio, opened my laptop, and noticed that my screen looked a little dusty. Okay, so I should probably add that, yes, my Mac has a cracked screen, secondary to an incident that occurred back in Ann Arbor. However, I did not think that lying in between those cracks were carnivorous little shards of Mac glass just waiting to destroy my finger. But they were. And it took about one swipe of my formerly unscathed fingers across the screen to cause a horribly embarrassing and bloody scene in front of a really attractive man and his dog, named Douglass, also sitting on the front patio. So I asked the attractive man if him and Douglass could watch my stuff while I bled all over Roy Street Coffee & Tea, to which he graciously agreed, and that’s when I realized that there were shards all up in my right middle finger.
So, I ran back to attractive male and Douglass, and he helped me pack my belongings and sent me off on my way for help. I ran home and tried to tweeze my fingers- No luck. My left hand is about as good as a raptor hand when it comes to usefulness. So, I asked my roommate. Still no luck, and this is when I was rushed to the Urgent Care Clinic, courtesy of my roommate Tyler.
So, I walk a couple of blocks down Broadway to the Urgent Care Clinic- and I should note, there are few times in life when you can wave a middle finger in the face of that person trying to aggressively shove fliers in your face on a street corner, and still have it be acceptable. And when your finger is bleeding profusely, well it’s one of those times.. and it’s awesome. That aside, I reached the urgent care clinic, and warning, the next few images are graphic.
So then, the doctor treating me is all, “yup, we’re going to need a digital block on this one.” And I’m all “Betch, WHUT. I work in the ER and I’ve seen the size of those needles.” For those of you who don’t know what a digital block is, it’s a lidocaine and marcaine injection that numbs you up. And it is administered through this bad boy
So ultimately, I feel the message I should leave you with is this: When life gives you Mac shards, give the world a blue & white compression bandaged bird and go get some pizza and beer.
I’d also like to give a shout out to all the awesome people out there who really supported me through my time of need
And best of all,
^^^ Disclaimer: After much negotiating (see photo below)
She finally agreed to let me include the screenshot under the condition that I state this:
“The above screenshot was only placed for comedic relief of my terrible wound. The photo is not representative of the subject in question. The actual human who sent this picture generally bears no resemblance to a grandmother, turtle or troll and in fact looks like this:”
So anyway, I think that’s really all I have to say about that. TGIF, AMIRIGHT?